AISubs v3.7
Well, welcome back to Dark Souls and to SideQuest!
Still kind of confused over here. I fought a big golden golem, it popped and turned into a noble lady in a gold dress, we talked briefly and then she disappeared, and now my feet are soaked here in the lake.
But we've got ladders to climb, so let's get to that!
Ladders, ladders...
So, I do have to say, there is a real satisfaction
to coming back to an area that you have explored a couple of times, but
not really, uh...
had the guts to completely go and explore it in its full capacity.
It feels very cool coming back to those places and...
kind of 100%ing them in a way, just like...
like, completing your exploration of a place.
Feels cool checking places off the list.
And, after all, now that I am level 70, I fear nothing.
Nothing... can go... wrong.
Which is liberating.
Excuse me, plant life.
Got other stuff to do?
There we go - hey!
That's quite enough of all you.
More of you than I felt like dealing with, if I'm honest.
Hmph. Closer than it should have been.
I guess things can still go wrong.
I stand corrected.
Nice to have moss, at least.
Always nice to have that.
Lot of plants out here.
Too many plants.
Meh.
Boy, that wide swing really does cause some damage.
It is funny to me at this point that the frame rate dropping now gives me the sensation of ominous music in a horror film.
Because in an area where the frame rate drops, I almost always experience frustration and pain.
Cool.
Eastern stuff.
I'm impressed by how much more there seems to be up here to explore.
Thought I'd covered a lot of this tall dark root area.
Feels very big. I don't think I will, but thank you.
Oh, I could probably survive that.
Eh.
So much still left up here, though.
That light just a flower?
Think it is.
Yeah.
Those illuminated flowers are deceptive.
This whole area is huge.
I beg your pardon, who are you?
Excuse me?
Oh wait, are you guys the phantoms that I was like grinding out here ages ago?
Ah, there's more plants too. This is not ideal.
I should probably be trying to carry and stuff, but...
There we go, gotcha.
That is a familiar number of souls to receive.
Yeah, I might be getting closer to that area I was grinding in before.
That's fun.
Hey!
Hey! Stop it!
Stop it!
Annoying.
So someone was shooting at me earlier. That's no fun.
Who dares?
Um, how do I get up here?
How do I climb small ledge?
Ooh, stairs!
Wait, this is familiar! I've been here!
[laughs]
Ah, yes. You know what? For old times' sake...
Yep, that's pretty much what you did last time, too.
You know what? Let's go ahead and use the bonfire up here...
just in case we slip up...
which has been known to happen.
I seem to recall there being some other folks out here. Oh, yeah, there's several.
At least two that I see.
Is it me, or are a lot of them wearing a lot of the "starting" gear...
that kinda comes with the different classes...
when you start the game?
I may be wrong.
I think I am.
[fire crackling]
Huh, this is working well.
Stunning him pretty well. Nice!
Probably for the best that I am not... human while out here.
I get the feeling that I'd be getting invaded a lot.
Huh, so what's in here, then?
Is that a cat?
Are you a cat? What are you?
What are you?
Looking for nothing, I say.
Well, indeed. Thou art a strange one. Nevertheless, I feel some liking for thee.
I'm Alvina of the Darkroot Wood.
I command a clan of hunters who track down defilers of the forest graves.
What dost thou say? Wilt thou not join us?
Oh, yes, I believe we would suit thee well.
You know what? Why not? Sure, joining New Covenants sounds fun.
I am very glad. And now, thou art one of us. Let us establish a covenant.
Sure.
Dark Souls is weird.
And here, take as this ring.
If thou weareth that ring, it allows for thine summoning. If mine senses reveal intruders, then I will summon thee.
Fend them off, sir. I beseech only this. I shall summon others who will, by their honour, work tirelessly with thee.
Thou shalt receive great reward, and whatsoever you shall pillage will be thine own.
A true agreement, not soon. But thou must heed the golden rule.
The clan is thine own family. To thine kinsmen forever stay true.
Darest not in any attempt to double-cross...
Have no doubt! Such wretchedness... never... will we tolerate.
Ye done?
Ah, thou dost cometh. How fairs ye. My hopes for thee are of the highest. Do not such a hope shatter with foul disproportion.
Ah, my hopes...
So I guess I joined the Cat Clan.
Well...
I've done weirder things in Dark Souls.
Ooh, chest!
Funnily enough...
Despite how... long that cat went on about who we are and what we do...
I don't... a hundred percent understand who we are... or... what we do.
Is that just a... PvP... of the woods... clan?
Is that our thing?
This one's fine
Stone stuff! Cool!
I mean, I'm not really interested in doing PvP stuff, though
But... I don't know. I guess I can always go join...
Wait...
What is that? Oh, it's the Moor of the Mushrooms
This place is huge! There's so much stuff!
But yeah, I guess I can always go back and join the Queen of the Sun's Covenant again later
If I... really want to
If cat loyalty just doesn't seem to be doing it for me
Ooh, item!
There's just so much to this area
Are you guys hostile or are you just kinda... whatever?
Yeah?
You guys seem fine with whatever
And that means I am fine with you
How about you guys? Eh, you seem less... agreeable
Yeah, that's what I thought. Fine
Let us do battle. Ow!
So Dan, what did you do in Dark Souls today?
Oh, nothing much
Made friends with a cat
Joined its cult
Fought a mushroom
Played Dark Souls, basically
Oh, and I killed a gold thing
Who then turned into a noble woman standing in a puddle
And then she vanished
So...
Dark Souls stuff
And... down you go. Okay!
Thank you for the pine resins
Are you a mimic?
No? Great!
Can I open you?
Enchanted Ember, ooh, that seems important. Glad I came here.
This place is enormous!
I thought I had covered most of this area already, but now I just kinda feel lost.
Hmm, and I have a lot of souls again.
Well, I guess it's actually not that many souls at the - oh, hello!
Hmm.
But yeah, I guess when you need nearly 30,000 souls to level, less than 30,000 actually isn't that much anymore.
What's this?
Oh, it's just more flowers. Okay.
So I guess let's see what this is all about?
Boss? What have I gotten myself into?
Well, we came here to explore!
Oh yeah, this is one of those doors that my Artorias key opens, I guess?
What am I getting myself into?
Hello?
Hmm.
I say hello?
Anyone?
One person says block, one person says hold with both hands.
Yeah, I get the feeling that'll be true in either case.
Okay. Ah, I found a sword!
Let's be friends.
This is a very cool looking area, by the way.
Just want to appreciate that before the panic starts.
So...
Do we talk? What happens?
Oh boy. Here we go.
Whatever it is, here we go.
I beg your pardon.
I'm sorry I joined the Cat Clan. I'll never do it again.
I'm having a weird day.
Well...
Okay...
I can't decide if this is silly or awesome or...
some combination of both.
Whoa!
Agh!
[gunshots]
I guess if I stay close enough... to it... then... eh...
nothing bad can happen.
Deh!
This one could be a really interesting animation chaaallenge, if that hurt.
And my framerate is just tanking.
But yeah, like, figuring out how to reasonably make a, uh...
little fight with a sword!
That's a weird challenge.
Yeeh, careful!
Probably didn't need to do that, but...
This... is... weird.
And cool!
And weird. Whoa!
I'm just kinda going back and forth on how I feel about this.
Oops.
[crash]
Ugh! Frame rate, come on, man!
Dah!
Wasn't expecting the double attack.
And... this.
Don't kill me, please.
Weird. And difficult. And weird.
All right, come on!
Gah! Ah, I keep on not expecting that double attack.
And I keep on doing reckless things like that.
And getting punished for it.
But... I mean... we're winning, I think.
Gah! You know, man, even when I try to block...
No!
Please don't kill me.
Gah! I don't like that attack.
And another one. Here it goes.
Almost gotcha!
Ah! Bad.
Almost gotcha, though.
Wolf with sword.
Gah! Almost.
Ugh, almost, but I don't wanna be reckless! Oh, no!
Aw, now I feel bad.
Sorry, wolf.
Okay, kind of sorry you're still hitting me, but sorry, wolf.
Mixed feelings.
Welp.
Yeah, I...
I get the feeling someday when I look things up and find out the lore behind this whole situation, I'm going to feel much sadder about it than I do now.
Anyway...
I would love to find a bonfire out here somewhere. I have got enough souls to level twice, which is saying something at this point in the game.
[footsteps]
What?
What?!
I... okay.
Now there's cats.
Rolling... cat.
And I'm out of vastus, I did not notice that.
This is a bad situation for me.
I think I'm just gonna kinda nope my way out of this, if that's alright with you?
Hope it doesn't follow me.
Reeeeally hope it doesn't follow me.
I'm gonna find my way to... you know what? I'm just actually gonna use a homeward bone.
That... seems like the... thing to do.
And we will see about the rolling cat nonsense...
Once I have got some healing items.
Eventful episode, this one.
Actually, before we head back out there and just to wrap this episode up,
I'll go figure out the rolling cat situation later,
but to close out this episode, let's take a look at items again,
because I've gotten a lot of new stuff, I think, over the last few episodes,
some probably worth reading over.
Soul of Seath,
the great gray wolf who guards the grave of Artorias the Abysswalker.
Ah, so that was the grave of Artorias.
Interesting, and the DLC is about Artorias.
Who is dead already, I guess?
Hmm, guess we'll find out later, maybe.
Ah, the Enchanted Ember, required for weapon ascension. This Enchanted Ember, a form of sorcery, is the vestige of the lost land of Oolacile.
Ascends a +5 magic weapon to an enchanted weapon.
Okay, so for magic weapons, then. Okay, so, the peculiar doll
was once... there was once an abomination who had no place in this world.
She clutched this doll tightly and eventually was drawn into a cold and lonely painted world.
Okay, so... I guess that was my clue that I should go and check the huge painting in Anor Londo.
But also, I guess that means the...
strange woman I met there was the abomination?
Who left?
I don't know. Interesting.
Acid Surge. Pyromancy for into the Great Swamp. Emits acid which corrodes weapons and armor.
Not all pyromancy originates in the Great Swamp. One hears rumors of unknown
pyromancers inhabiting various lands, and this spell is the work of one such outlander.
Interesting.
Should I be using something other than fireball? Or whichever one I've been using?
Dragon Tooth.
Created from an everlasting dragon tooth, legendary great hammer of Havel the Rock.
The dragon tooth will never break, as it is harder than stone and it grants its wielder resistance to magic and flame. Very cool.
Black Knights Halberd.
Halberd of the Black Knights who wander Lordran, used to face chaos demons.
The large motion that puts the weight of the body into the attack reflects the great size of their adversaries long ago.
Spider Shield.
Shield of the Savage Mountain Bandits, uniquely shaped with a large black spider etched up on it, has resistance to poison.
This is the shield some of you were saying in the comments that I should have had before going into Blighttown and then
looking at that last sentence I can kind of maybe see why.
Dragoncrest Shield.
Shield of a nameless knight, likely a high-ranked knight of a stora, one of the enchanted blue shields, the dragoncrest shield greatly reduces fire damage.
Oh cool, so the crest shield reduces magic, dragoncrest reduces fire. Awesome.
Havel's Greatshield. Greatshield of the legendary Havel the Rock, cut straight from a great slab of stone.
This greatshield is imbued with the magic of Havel, provides strong defense, and is incredibly heavy.
A true divine heirloom, on par with the dragon tooth.
Eastern Helm, a distinctive helm made in an eastern land.
Exquisitely crafted, this helm offers excellent defense, particularly versus slash attacks, which are one of the main threats in battles in the east.
Helm of Favor, helm of Lautrec the Embraced, representing the goddess Fina's love.
During his solitude he forsook everything, for he believed in the goddess' love for him.
There's a lot about this guy I apparently don't know.
The goddess' arms wrap around it, as if to embrace the wearer.
During his solitude he forsook every- okay.
Paladin Helm, helm of Leroy, paladin of the calycomes, who I kicked off a cliff, sorry.
Long ago, the Way of White produced its first undead, a paladin in golden armor.
With the legendary treasures grant and sanctus, Leroy set out for Lordran, land of the gods, in the first undead mission of the Way of the White.
Stone Helm, moss-covered helm of the Stone Knight, defender of the Darkroot Garden.
The Stone Knight is a product of ancient magic, and although this helm is also imbued with magic, it is incredibly heavy.
Havel's Helm, helm worn by Havel the Rock's warriors.
Carved from solid rock, its tremendous weight is matched only by the defense it provides.
Havel's warriors never flinched nor retreated from battle.
Those unfortunate enough to face them were inevitably beaten to a pulp.
That sounds about like what I remember, yeah.
Oh, so the Duskcrown Ring was granted to Princess Dusk of Oolacile upon her birth.
Cool.
Oh, so the Wolf Ring is one of the special rings granted to the Four Knights of Gwyn.
The Wolf Ring belongs to Artorias, the Abysswalker.
Artorias had an unbendable will of steel and was unmatched with a greatsword.
Very interesting seeing the wolf associated with Artorias.
That's a neat little bit of item lore foreshadowing there.
Covenant of Artorias? This ring symbolizes Knight Artorias' covenant with the beasts of the Abyss.
Its wearer, like Artorias himself, can traverse the Abyss.
Hmph. Cat Covenant Ring. Ring granted to those bound by the Forest Hunter Covenant.
Answer Alvina's summoning. The white cat Alvina speaks a human tongue and has lived since the
early Age of Fire. Alvina was a trusted friend of Knight Artorias and the great wolf Sif.
Sif. Sif. Swordwolf.
Anyway, I think that's it for the item reading and I think that's it for this weird episode.